So, I was heading down to South Carolina on Friday June 12, 2009 on my motorcycle when just outside of Ripley, WV it started to rain. Now I had raingear, but it was stowed neatly in the backback I had strapped onto the back of the bike and covered with a waterproof sack. Since I was getting soaked, I decided to pull over after a couple of miles to see if it would pass.
I pulled into a gas station off of I-77, parked under the canopy and went inside for a coffee. As I stood outside sipping coffee and watching the rain a group of Harleys pulled in from Michigan and a few minutes later a guy with his wife from Zanesville, Ohio pulls in on a Yamaha Venture Royale (if I recall correctly). I chatted a little and the Harley riders decided they were heading to a local bar for some grub while waiting for the rain to pass.
Bill (the guy from Zanesville) and I chatted for a bit more waiting for the rain to pass. We discovered we were both headed the same direction as as the rain slowed to a bearable drizzle Bill asked if I wanted to ride along. Now, since I was headed the same direction and it’s always nice to have someone else along should things go south on a bike, I agreed. Besides, Bill and his wife seemed like nice enough folks.
We pulled out onto 77 and headed south towards Charlotte, NC. Now Bill stated that he only rode at about 5MPH over the speed limit which I soon discovered meant 80MPH. We cruised along, stopping for gas about every hundred miles or so until just north of Charlotte. At the last stop before we parted, Bill decided he was going to listen to the radio instead of the tape deck on his bike (yep, it had a tape deck). This, ended up being the cause of our departure.
As we continued on down the road, Bill and I were following a truck hauling a wrecked car on a trailer. Bill switched lanes to pass the truck as a piece of plastic came flying back the road at me. It was at this point I thought “CRAP! this guys losing parts off this car and I’m gonna get hit by something” and a split second later thought “Hey, that piece of plastic looked familiar”. Well, I goose the bike and get past the truck in time to see Bill pulling over to the berm. I follow suite (somewhat ahead of him) and he pulls up along side and tell me his wife said something fell off the bike. Hmm… I glance over and sure enough, the plastic cover for his tape deck is gone. I point it out and he just stares for a couple of seconds then says.
Horse tits!
Yeah, really, that’s what he said. Now me, I would have said something that sounded really close to that, followed along with several other words that would get bleeped on daytime TV.
Maybe he’s trying to be a good person, not cussing and all. Maybe he just has an aversion to using stronger language. I can respect that. But then why use something that close? Why not “Donkey Nipples” as ShootMeNow suggested when I told him the story. Or “poppycock” or any other variety of euphamisms? My dad has a saying (well, okay, my dad has a whole bunch of sayings) and I don’t think a one of them could be mistaken for a swear word if said fast or around background noise. And really, in the grander scheme of things, does it really matter? I suppose not, but if you are going to go to that level of effort to not cuss, why not avoid similar sounding phrases? Me, I doubt I’ll ever have that level of control…. especially when I got back and found that little plastic cover in pieces all over the four lane.
